“For boys and girls who are courting or engaged to be married, it is of course permissible to show affection for each other through hugging and kissing. The form it takes and the extent to which it is permissible depends on the circumstances and culture in which they live. These displays of affection are also necessary because it is difficult to marry someone with whom one has not established an emotional bond. Of course, it is possible for this to involve sexual arousal. In this case, there is a ‘necessary occasion for sin,’ because—as already mentioned—preparation for marriage requires both prospective marriage partners to form an affective bond with each other. They should try to avoid losing self-control in doing so by not meeting too often and for too long alone. In addition, they should frequently resort to prayer, receive the Eucharist, and, if necessary, the sacrament of penance and reconciliation. In the latter sacrament, before receiving absolution, they must make sincere efforts to the best of their ability to avoid losing self-control. However, they cannot be asked to avoid this risk altogether. It is obviously different for people who do not have the will to avoid this risk. They cannot be absolved. By the way, the confessor should realize that the guidelines given by classical moral theologians for this purpose must be applied with the necessary nuances in our time, because avoiding the opportunity to be sexually aroused has become very difficult. Think of the arousing images in advertising, on television and the internet, in reading material, and even in teaching aids.”
(The Bond Of Love, Ch. 11, n. 11)
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