French philosopher urges people to rebel – by making friends

Geoffroy de Lagasnerie says focus on friendships over relationships or family is radical act in today’s society

Angelique Chrisafis in Paris

@achrisafis

Mon 6 Mar 2023 11.52 EST

Building your life around close friendships rather than family or romance is a joyous and necessary act of rebellion, and governments should put in place “friendship ministries” to radically rethink the way society is organised, a key French philosopher has argued.

Geoffroy de Lagasnerie this week publishes a manifesto for friendship, 3 Une Aspiration au Dehors, detailing his close friendship with two other writers, Didier Eribon and Édouard Louis. The three friends eat together in the evening, speak many times daily, wish each other goodnight and good morning every day and synch their schedules to make sure they prioritise friendship moments, namely meeting up for long chats. He described the friendship as the centre of their lives, “one long discussion that never ends”.

Presented as a kind of radical blueprint for investing in good friendships, De Lagasnerie questions society’s “authoritarian” insistence on prioritising family structures and romantic relationships.

French philosopher and sociologist Geoffroy de Lagasnerie. Photograph: Martin Bureau/AFP/Getty Images

He describes in the book how the three men always spend their birthdays and special occasions together, including Christmas Eve. “When we send other people our Christmas photos or post them on social media, we get a vast number of messages from people who say they envy the chance to spend the festive season with friends ... This raises the question: why does friendship as a way of life seem so inaccessible, even to those who aspire to it?”

Read the rest: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/mar/06/french-philosopher-geoffroy-de-lagasnerie-friendships