Dear Father,
What
is your opinion on attending a co-habiting couple's catholic wedding?
Refusing to attend a wedding must be a well-considered decision, as
there will be hurt feelings, anger, and permanent estrangement among
family members.I am involved in a situation where the soon to be married
couple lives together. I have a member(s) of my family who say they do
not intend to attend the wedding because they disapprove of the living
arrangements and don't wish to sanction what they view as a mockery of
the sacrament of marriage. I realize that the couple are both completely
lapsed Catholics, who lack repentance or shame, and that a church
wedding is strictly for show.
It has always
been
my opinion that if a priest doesn't know of the couple's living
arrangements, it 's because he doesn't want to know., I believe it is
presumptuous and sanctimonious for anyone to refuse to attend the
wedding of this couple. If the priest is willing to marry them, who are
they to question the priest's decision to marry the couple by boycotting
the wedding? Furthermore, if the boycotters remain true to these
guidelines, the sad truth is very few marriages ought to be attended, as
it is my firm belief that almost all young couples today are engaging
in relations before marriage (many, publicly) .
I
will be attending the wedding, and am angry and disappointed with those
who have elected to not attend, as I feel their actions are extreme,
and will accomplish nothing but damaged familial relations. I agree with
your advice regarding non-attendance in the situations you mentioned in
your column, but
would be interested in your thoughts on this very common scenario of
co-habitation before marriage.
A.
Hello A.,
We
do not know if the couple went to confession before the ceremony. The
marriage is a graced opportunity for them to grow in conversion and your
participation as an example of Catholic Faith can be a help in that
direction.I do agree with you that if someone thinks they have knowledge the couple is living together it is a judgment to make the leap that this means they are fornicating.
You may want to find a
good solid prayerbook for married couples and a Bible with special pages
for recording childrens' births and sacraments for wedding gifts as
gentle reminders to practice the Faith.
Blessings,
Have a Catholic question? For an answer send yours to Father Cusick to mcitl DOT blogspot DOT com AT gmail DOT come
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