What is your opinion on attending a co-habiting couple's catholic wedding? Refusing to attend a wedding must be a well-considered decision, as there will be hurt feelings, anger, and permanent estrangement among family members.I am involved in a situation where the soon to be married couple lives together. I have a member(s) of my family who say they do not intend to attend the wedding because they disapprove of the living arrangements and don't wish to sanction what they view as a mockery of the sacrament of marriage. I realize that the couple are both completely lapsed Catholics, who lack repentance or shame, and that a church wedding is strictly for show.
It has always been my opinion that if a priest doesn't know of the couple's living arrangements, it 's because he doesn't want to know., I believe it is presumptuous and sanctimonious for anyone to refuse to attend the wedding of this couple. If the priest is willing to marry them, who are they to question the priest's decision to marry the couple by boycotting the wedding? Furthermore, if the boycotters remain true to these guidelines, the sad truth is very few marriages ought to be attended, as it is my firm belief that almost all young couples today are engaging in relations before marriage (many, publicly) .
I will be attending the wedding, and am angry and disappointed with those who have elected to not attend, as I feel their actions are extreme, and will accomplish nothing but damaged familial relations. I agree with your advice regarding non-attendance in the situations you mentioned in your column, but would be interested in your thoughts on this very common scenario of co-habitation before marriage.
Hello A.,We do not know if the couple went to confession before the ceremony. The marriage is a graced opportunity for them to grow in conversion and your participation as an example of Catholic Faith can be a help in that direction.
I do agree with you that if someone thinks they have knowledge the couple is living together it is a judgment to make the leap that this means they are fornicating.
You may want to find a good solid prayerbook for married couples and a Bible with special pages for recording childrens' births and sacraments for wedding gifts as gentle reminders to practice the Faith.
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