The only person who is ever going to truly be your best friend is a Divine Person, Jesus Christ.
Stop condemning yourself to perpetual disappointment by searching all over the world for something that does not exist in the world.
Only Jesus Christ, Divine Savior, has overcome the world. Only He can satisfy your desire for a love which cannot be taken away or destroyed by other sinners like you.
Go to Him. He is waiting patiently for you in Divine love which does not use, or dominate or control. He will accept you with all your sins and faults and scars. But He will never leave you the same as He finds you. He brings change which is new life and light and love.
Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever. Amen.